Diary of a Nobody
by Kaishiru
Summary: Follow Roxas through his days in the Organization as he searches for his purpose in his new life. Will he find his purpose in his Keyblade? Or is the real key in a certain red head who has slowly changed his life from Day 1? Yaoi, AkuRoku.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts nor any of its characters or gain any profit from them. This fanfiction is purely for entertainment and artistic purposes.**

**Pairing:** Mainly AkuRoku. If you don't like this pairing or yaoi at all, please don't tell me or even bash me for liking it.

**Warnings:** None for this chapter but there will be yaoi smut in later chapters, inappropriate language, violence...and that's it for now. Happy reading~

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><p><strong>Ch. 1: Newly Aware<strong>

_~Roxas' POV~_

_You gotta figure everything starts someplace for everyone. I'm no exception to this rule. The closest thing for me is when I was just a few hours old and clinging to a number and a name, I met you. It was the best thing that has ever happened in my existence or lack thereof. Nothing else even mattered to me. Not even obtaining a heart for myself. Getting a heart was important to me in the beginning but as time passed and the time I've spent with you... Obtaining a heart for myself seemed like a distant memory. Even though I don't remember that moment we first met, I don't regret meeting you. I can never regret meeting you. Never..._

_How did I get here? When did I get here? And who am I?_ These are the questions that ran through my head when I had first woken up in this unknown place. It was dark and I heard the sound of water washing against the shore nearby. I sat up and gazed out towards the water. The moon was barely hanging above the horizon and it shown its light over the water. It looked eerie but beautiful. I'm not sure why I found that beautiful in the first place. Another thing I've noticed is that the ground felt hard and the sand felt all wrong against my hands when I had touched it. As for the boulders, they had some blue crystals embedded in them and they glowed each time the light had hit them. It was a bit strange. This whole area is strange. It was dark and gloomy. Just what is this place anyway and how did I end up here in the first place?

There were so many questions going through my head and I felt confused because of it. For some reason, that seemed weird that I was feeling that. Am I supposed to be feeling stuff like this? Oh great, another question that will confuse me even more than I already am. Even with all of the questions and the new sensations I was feeling, there was one thing that probed my ever confused mind constantly. I wanted to find my purpose in this life of mine.

Though I don't know what my purpose is, I want to find out what it is. I highly doubt it's in a place like this. There was nothing for me here. As if someone had heard my thoughts, a dark portal appeared behind me. You think this would scare me but it didn't. I felt no fear whatsoever as I gazed into that menacing void into nothingness. I felt nothing really. I'm not sure if I'm happy to see it or scared or confused. All I know is that it could hold all the answers I am looking for. I stood up and started walking towards the void. That feeling of curiosity seeped into me then coursed throughout my body like rattlesnake venom as I got closer and closer to it.

_What is on the other side of that_, I wondered as I had finally reached it then just stood there staring at the mysterious yet menacing void. It seemed that was all that mattered to me as I hesitantly reached my hand to touch it. Why am I acting like I'm afraid it might hurt me? Despite this weird sensation I was getting, I reached my hand out to touch it anyway. My hand went through the void and I pulled it back after a minute. It seemed safe to me so I finally decided to step through it to find what is on the other side if that's the case. The darkness didn't hurt me at all. There was no pain so what was there to be afraid of? I didn't feel anything when I stepped across that dark threshold, not fearing whatever was on the other side of it.

The darkness was vast and if there wasn't an exit at the 'end' of this void, I would most likely be lost in it forever. Again, I wasn't afraid of this possibility either. I started walking again. I didn't even know I stopped walking in the first place. Then I started running faster and faster towards the exit, desperately wanting to know what's there. I know I will find my answer then. I just have to keep going. I know I needed to keep going and not because something told me to keep moving forward. It was because there was this overwhelming need to find out what I wanted in this life.

As soon as I reached the exit, I dashed through it without hesitation to find myself in front of an old mansion and the void evaporated from behind me. The gate to it was locked but the person standing in front of it is the one who caught my attention. It looked like a man, I think. The man was clad in a black trench coat and a hood was covering his head and face. I could barely see what this one looked like. When I walked closer to the mysterious man, he turned around to look at me. I could barely see his face but his eyes were the only thing I could see of him. The man's eyes were glowing a vivid golden yellow. I wondered if that was even normal color for a person to have...

Then the man spoke to me thus pulling me out of my thoughts.

"You seek answers." he said to me. It wasn't even a question. I can assume he knows what I want; has all the answers. I wanted to respond but I didn't know what to say. My mind was still unclear. So I just stayed quiet and nodded. "I can give you purpose..."

With that said, the man made someone's name appear in front of me. It said 'Sora.' I have no idea who that is or how it even mattered to me. Then the man made the name circle around my head. Faster and faster until it became a blur to me and the man made it stop. I looked up to see that the name wasn't 'Sora' anymore but a new name with a giant 'X' in the middle of it. I knew this name was mine. It was the first name I have ever said.

"'Roxas...'" I said as I stared at the name blankly, the man smiled at me.

"That is right─The new you." Okay, this confused me. I have no idea what he means by that at all.

"The new...me?" I asked, he nodded as another man appeared from a void that was created I think by him this time. He was in a black coat too but his hood was down and I could see his face. His cheeks had upside down tear drop tattoos on them. His hair was a fiery red and his eyes were emerald green. They looked bright with interest when they had gazed upon my face for the first time. I noticed he is tall so I had to look up at him like I had to look up at the hooded man too. Something about him drew me in. I guess one would call that attraction. I don't know.

"Yes, Roxas. The new you." said the hooded man as I looked back at him. This new me stuff is confusing... "Axel. You will watch him and guide him until he's truly ready to complete the main task at hand for us." Axel? So that is this red head guy's name?

"So in other words, you want me to babysit the kid." said Axel as he sighed and I stared at him blankly.

"That's essentially the case, Axel. Well that and do whatever it takes to mold him into a good fighter." With that, the hooded man disappeared into the dark void, leaving me with Axel. I heard Axel sigh before I glanced at him in confusion. But it looked like he was the one who was confused since he had no idea what to say or do with me at the moment.

"Well, how about I take you somewhere special before we get down to business." he suggested as I stared at him with a blank expression on my face. I wonder where he is going to take me that is so special? He soon walked off towards the woods and I followed him, leaving the mansion behind. We didn't talk but that's because I didn't know what I could say to him. My mind is still a huge blur. I can't process anything right now. The only thing I can remember is my own name. I can barely remember the other guy's name. The one who is leading me through this unknown area and into an unknown town full of bustling people. It was so colorful it actually filled my blurred mind with amazement and wonder. For some reason I wanted to explore this place more.

Without realizing it, I had wondered off from the other guy and started walking around this place. There were so many places and things to see. So many smells coming from different foods being sold. The many sounds from various people I've walked past. It was all so overwhelming. There were no words that could describe what I was experiencing. If I could, I would say this is a wonderful feeling. I don't know. I can't process anything. Even after I had walked past some kids who were eating I think ice cream. They had a funny expression on their faces and they were making strange 'haha' noises as they talked to each other. It seemed bizarre to me and I don't know why. I still didn't know why even as I stared after them while standing in the center of, I think the tram common area.

Those kids walked away from me and my attention was still on them when I felt someone pat my shoulder and I turned around to see that it was that red head guy from before. He smiled at me as I stared blankly back at him. It was the same expression those kids had. I wonder what it means to smile. To make those 'haha' noises those kids made.

"Man, I miss the old times..." he said, his words confusing me. "Still got it memorized?" _What is he __**talking**__ about?_ I thought as he lead me over to one of the shops and bought two ice cream bars. What he's going to do with those I don't know or whether or not I should even care. He then lead me up then through the station heights before we reached the train station. Okay, what are we supposed to do here? This man is confusing me so much right now. I have no idea what he is planning for me.

The man quickly lead me into the station then we made our way up the stairs of the tower. I was still baffled on what he has planned but I wanted to see what he was going to show me. After a few minutes of walking, we had finally reached the top and we walked over towards the front of the clock tower. He then sat down on the edge then I followed suit and sat beside him and stared out at the sunset. I sort of remembered the ice cream bars he had bought as he pulled them out. He handed one to me and asked me to try it.

"What...is this?" I asked, looking at the ice cream vacuously.

"Sea-salt ice cream. It tastes really good. Try it, Roxas." he answered as he took a bite of his ice cream. I stared at mine once more for a few seconds before I hesitantly took a small bite out of it. The taste was strange but it tasted nice. No, it tasted wonderful. It was a combination of saltiness and sweetness. I guess that is why they call this sea-salt ice cream...

"It's salty but sweet..." I mumbled as Axel let out an incredulous chuckle.

"Well that's basically why they call it sea-salt ice cream, Roxas." he said as he took another bite of his ice cream. "It's good, right?" I nodded as he smiled at me. _That is a really weird look on his face_, I thought. _It doesn't suit him..._ I continued to eat my ice cream as I stared off into the sunset. Though I'm not sure what to make of it. I guess most people would find it 'beautiful' or something like that. But I can't see it the way most people would. What's so special about a sunset anyway? After a few minutes, I had finally finished my ice cream and looked over at Axel who was idly twirling his ice cream stick with his fingers before he looked at me.

"I see that you're done. That's good because we should be going to your new home." he said before standing up. "Keep close to me before you end up getting lost." Axel added as I stood up and followed him, curious on where he was going to take me next.

We had left the clock tower and left the town through that dark portal after Axel had make sure that no one was watching. Soon after, we had arrived in an entirely different world. I think Axel told me that we were in a castle of some sort. It was strangely bright here unlike the rest of this world which is dark. As I looked around, Axel had handed me a long black coat, the same one he and that guy are wearing. He told me to go and change into it before shoving me into a room to change by myself. I stared at the garment blankly before complying with his demand. I changed out of my normal clothes before quickly dawning the black coat.

It fit me nicely of course and I soon left the room after I was done. Axel started leading me to another part of the castle. It was a circular room consisting of thirteen really high thrones. Well, the thrones varied in size. The highest one belonged to the guy I met for the first time. He had silver hair and golden yellow eyes which were cold and hard as stone. The other people were watching me with cold eyes too as I walked into the center of the room with Axel. I guess they were waiting for me to arrive then. Feeling their cold eyes on me made me look away from their faces for some reason. The man from before took this moment to speak.

"Let us all welcome one of the Keyblade's chosen." he said as he gestured to me. The other people smiled at me as I sighed inaudibly.

"It's a momentous day indeed. Never in my days living would I get to see a Keyblade user wearing our coat."

"About time we get a Keyblade user on our side~" said a guy with his pale blonde hair carefully gelled into orderly spikes. He had a few strands hanging in front of his baby blue eyes. He was weirdly, I think enthusiastic is the right word. I don't know. This guy struck me as weird.

"Yes, this should prove fruitful for us. I think we'll surely reach our goal with this one on our side..." said the guy with long, dirty blonde hair and green eyes that gazed upon me with interest and something else I couldn't place. That gave me the oddest sensation... It was like I didn't want to be around him because he might try to do unspeakable things to me.

"Agreed, Vexen. With Roxas on our side, we'll be able to have hearts of our own in no time. All of you can be sure of that." he said as the other people nodded. The man looked at me and asked, "Roxas, can you summon your Keyblade for us?" _Why would he want me to do that?_ I thought as I decided to do what he asked and summoned the Keyblade. That was one thing I knew how to do. It was mostly instinct. Even though this didn't seem like it would impress anyone, the people around me gasped in awe and smiles graced all of their features before I had put it away.

"We got our Keyblade master but he seems incompetent. Normally a Nobody like us is able to talk and do whatever comes to us naturally. The only thing this kid can do is summon his Keyblade." A woman with bright blonde hair and emerald green eyes said as she glared at me. "He's useless..."

"Now Larxene. He's not useless. Roxas can still perform his duties for us...given that we train him first." said the silver haired man. "Axel. You will help our newest addition regain his fighting skills. Guide him until he knows what his purpose here is."

"So you want me on babysitting duty. Is that it, Xemnas?" Axel said as he sighed.

"If that helps you, yes." Xemnas answered him. Axel sighed again and I looked up at him. He seems like he doesn't want to watch me. I don't really need him to watch over me like I'm a little kid. He can do whatever he wants but I think that Xemnas person will reprimand him or something. I wanted to say something to him about this but I couldn't find the right words...

"Alright. I'll do it." said Axel as Xemnas nodded in approval. Oh, he's actually going through with Xemnas' demand... He didn't have to but whatever.

"Everyone is dismissed. Go on and finish your missions." After Xemnas gave his command, everyone had disappeared from the area and Axel had lead me out of the area so he could show me where I would sleep. I followed him automatically as he started showing me various places of the castle. Not before a man with long blue hair stopped us from going any further. He handed what looked like a book to me and I took it from him automatically. Curious, I opened the book to find that there are no words written in it. What am I supposed to do with it?

"It's a diary, Roxas. You're instructed to keep one on you. We won't read it but we just ask you to keep it. Write whatever you want in it. I don't really care." he said to me as I nodded. "Well, I'll be on my way. Be sure to go on your mission when you're done showing him around, Axel."

"Sure, Saix." Axel responded as he lead me away from the blue haired man. The castle was vast so we didn't reach my room for several minutes. When we did, I saw the name plate on the door that had my name on it and knew it was my room. I went past Axel and reached for the doorknob to open the door to my room. When I peered inside, I noticed there wasn't much furniture. Not that there would be any use for them anyway. There was a bed and a nightstand beside it for some reason. The window was pretty big but the view outside of it was mostly clouds. There was nothing floating in the forever nightly sky. Guess I won't be looking out the window for anything then...

"I'm guessing you're enjoying your living quarters." I heard Axel say as I turned to look at him blankly and he seemed amused by my reaction for some reason. I'm not sure if I enjoy it but it's okay, I guess. I couldn't answer Axel so I just shrugged. "Anyway, I have a mission to go on and I won't be back until late tonight. So stay in here and sleep for a while, Roxas."

"...Okay." I said as I watched him leave my room. After watching the door close, I went over to my bed, setting my diary in the drawer of my nightstand as I sat down on the bed. I might start writing in it tomorrow. I can't write in it tonight because I have no idea what to write in it for now. At least I know that no one will read whatever I write in it. That's good to know.

I've actually found the bed to be really comfortable and I almost fell asleep when I had decided to rest my weary head on the soft pillows. Even though I had woken up just a few hours ago, I was still feeling tired. I remembered to shrug out of my coat because it didn't feel right sleeping in it. Then I kicked off my shoes and crawled under the sheets. It's the first day of my new life and I still have no idea what's going on. Everything is so new to me. I wonder if Axel really will teach me what I should and should not do. Guess I'll find out tomorrow. And hopefully it'll be less of an confusing day for me too. For now, I'm tired and the only thing I want to do is sleep. So, I closed my eyes and soon fell into unconsciousness.

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><p><strong>AN:** This was waaay shorter than I expected. D: Well, this is the second _**Kingdom Hearts**_ fanfiction I've written. :3 I've actually had this idea lurking around in my head for over two years after beating KH: 358/2 Days but haven't had time to write it. I immediately thought of this AkuRoku fanfiction because of it. I love that game even though defeating Xion gave me hell... So, I wanted to write an AkuRoku version of it even though I will be changing things around in my favor. ^^ Sorry if it's sort of bad... I do try. ^^;

I do hope you like this even though it was short... Please review if you can~


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